The human civilization reached up to this stage of modern life only because of the innate need for love, intimacy, and emotional support. The type and nature of love might vary depending on the situation, context, and orientation, but at core it is romanticism in the relationship with a suitable partner. Although the need for love is innate when it comes to the relationship you learn the art through upbringing and socio-cultural conditioning. Although it might differ marginally for gay couples because of sexual orientation, the fundamental relation is equal for all.
Just like anyone else gay couple also aspires to have a great relationship and try all possible measures to keep it vibrant, strong and long-lasting. At first, people from the LGB community find it difficult to find a suitable partner and then struggle hard to keep in going due to social rigidity and low level of acceptance. Although, it takes time for gays to shape the perfect relationship but once established it gives you the amazing emotional sense of fulfillment. As said the challenges are many, mistakes do happen and it is very natural. The whole idea is to avoid such mistake so that you could maintain strong and fulfilling relationship for a long period of time. Here are some of the common mistakes gays should avoid;
Related: 10 Steps of emotional fulfillment from Psychology Today.
One very common mistake that happens in the early state of gay relationship is confusion about the idea of an open relationship. So, you have to talk with your partner and have a common understanding of openness. It is better to have some basic agreement on limits and freedom. Even if your partner is in favor of open relation, give some time to the relationship to mature as this is seen as the phase of transition towards monogamous relationship.
Attached or Free
Frankly, your sexual orientation makes you a freedom-loving soul and you love to experiment a lot. But when it comes to relationship, you have to makes some compromises so that the emotional need of your partner could be fulfilled. You know about yourself, so make this mistake as this is not just about you.
Well, this is one of the biggest mistakes that most of the gays make in the early days of the relationship. You are under impression that whatever you are saying your partner understands, but that is not the case in reality. This gap starts widening from day one until the final departure. There is no room of confusion in a gay relationship as you start building on fragile ground and any mistake sinks your relationship.
As said you are a free soul not bounded by the paranoia of taking the relationship forwards at the cost. If your partner is not the fit case for you, then no amount of luxury and sex could make you happy. The common mistake gays make is that they slowly start building false sense of comfort under the assumption that if not with him then I will be a lonely single. Your only goal is happiness, nothing else matters.
Nobody forced you to be in a relationship. Both of you chose to be one after understanding each other’s point of view. So, don’t repeat the classical mistake of trust deficit by going to extremes in maintaining friendship at the cost of a relationship. Your relationship needs your loyalty so stop your sexual exploration.
United but Separated
You and your partner may be living in different parts of the city and maintaining a good relationship. This might sound good strategy to balance your need and social pressure, in the long run, this won’t work and someday you have to take the final call. Distance kills the relationship, simple. If you have a sense of fear and you want to satiate your urge just temporarily, then this relationship is definitely not for you.
If you are obsessive about networking and messaging, then be there and don’t make the mistake of relationship. If you are already in relationship manage it smartly with openness with your partner as your app fetish could create unnecessary insecurity in the mind of your partner. The sense of betrayal is very painful.
First thing first, you are a human being and you might also face the health issue. If you are in a relationship, get tested regularly so that you could enjoy a healthy life without interruptions of an unnecessarily long period of sickness. Don’t repeat the mistake of assumptions, and go for test with your partner.
Read this article from WebMD which talks about steps of to have a healthy lifestyle.
Just like everyone else you also need money for a good lifestyle. To have a healthy relationship, it is good to talk about money matters so that finances could remain in a healthy state. But it is good to avoid discussing personal contribution and personal expense. Although money might not ever be the reason for the break, it might act as fuel for other issues.
You are in a relationship for romantic and physical need. So, explore it to the fullest not just in intimate moments but always. Don’t make the mistake of keeping it hyper secret or private. The more you will talk about sex the more fun it would be.
If you start including worldly mistakes of common people, then it is going to be a never-ending list. Since you are of different sexual orientation your emotional and physical requirements will be different, so understand the limits and act accordingly. You can definitely do better than the statistical average of the gay relationship longevity of 1.5 years by simply avoiding these mistakes. Sounds simple, but it is an uphill task, so be prepared to march hand in hand with a goal in mind to take the relationship forward.
You and your partner are on the journey to seek ultimate happiness. The best possible way to enjoy the journey is to respect each others’ identity, voice, choices, and lifestyle. First, build a strong emotional bond and then enjoy physical intimacy. Learn the art of showering love, you will get more in return.